Karl Denninger posted this piece which describes our current state of affairs as a people and global community to a tee.
Good Morning, This Is Your Captain Speaking
Now that we’re a couple of hours into our flight over the Atlantic Ocean, we’d like to update you on our flight status and expectations.
We’re cruising at DOW 13,892 this morning having ascended from approximately DOW 6,000. Our target is DOW 25,000 which we have all convinced you we will achieve, or you would have not have boarded our fine flight this morning.
However, despite the smiles of our cabin attendants as they served you all the booze you’ve been drinking (and charging you $10/drink for the privilege) I’m speaking to you from JFK airport, not the cockpit as you assume. You see, I’m an employee of GoldSucksToBeYou, and I watched the ground crew load fuel before your departure, noting that while this trip is scheduled to last six hours over water, there was only three hours of fuel being loaded on board. Incidentally, as I noted, you’ve been in the air for about two hours. Moe, Larry and Curly are at the controls and in accordance with FAA regulations the cockpit door has been reinforced in the unlikely event that any of you have flight experience and might be able to actually alter your flight’s course.
In addition, to soothe you and entice you to consume all that booze we have been running continual in-your-face promotional material from Warren I-ate-your-Buffet and Central News Bull Crap, carefully crafted to appeal to your fear of missing out on the next-great-thing.
Your checked luggage also did not make the trip with you. Instead, we have looted it. To the passenger in seat 17C, thank you for the nice iPAD and for the passenger in 31A, you should know better than to check 6-carat diamonds in your suitcase. Remember, as employees of GoldSucksToBeYou, we’re dedicated to our comfort and safety, and to Hell with yours.
The headwinds that have slowed your progress materially are global and inescapable. Not only is the most-recent GDP print in the United States negative, but so has been reported Japan, France, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Greece, Hungary, Austria and Cyprus among others.
Finally, you will note that despite FAA regulations the life vest under your seat is in fact a Winn-Dixie plastic bag and the waters over which you are flying are shark-infested.
Have a nice remainder of your flight.